Thanks for Nothing - Pioneer Press

Damn Pioneer Press – and Damn Me – What a chump! They played on what’s left of my liberal white guilt. Why do I always feel so sorry for young African American males who are assigned to sell stuff in the suburbs?? Obviously that angle works with chumps like me.

Here’s the letter I just sent to the Pioneer Press – it explains most of the “problem”.

January 19, 2007


Pioneer Press
P.O. Box 64831
St. Paul, MN 55164-0831

To Whom It May Concern:

Please do not deliver any more copies of the St. Paul Pioneer Press. I never intended to subscribe to this newspaper. I believe you secured this “subscription” via deceptive practices. Here’s what happened:
One of your sales people came to my house. I told him I was not interested, and began to close the door. He asked me to wait while he explained himself. He said that the people who had hired him wanted him to prove that he was actually making contact with the households he had been assigned to solicit – even if those households decided not to purchase the paper. To prove he had made contact with me, all I needed to do was complete my name and address on the card he provided. This was obviously a ploy on his part to get my name and address in order to sign me up for a subscription to your newspaper. I should have seen through this – but I took sympathy on the young man and signed the card. I DID NOT indicate anything about delivery options – weekdays vs. weekdays and weekends, how I wished to be billed, etc. He never discussed these options with me. For this reason, the process seemed legitimate to me. Obviously I had been duped.
Please discontinue delivery of your paper immediately. While I actually like your newspaper, and appreciate its coverage of local news – especially it’s coverage of the Minnesota State Legislature, this is the second instance of your company having used less than “above board” sales practices. Those two episodes have soured me on ever subscribing to your paper.

The Hobbled Runner
123 Main Street
Roseville, MN 12345

Long time readers of the Hobbled Runner may recall our earlier Hell with the Pioneer Press. A little history.

That’s the last time I feel sorry for anyone selling anything. I’m such a chump.